That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
