You're earring is so big in my mouth
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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