Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
