i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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