chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
