No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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