If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Just puked most of my soul out..
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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