Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
