You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She's the barista slut.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
