His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
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That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
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Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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