Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
