also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
