That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
