I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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