i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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