Your dad touched me again.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
