also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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