his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
