i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
