Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
