I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
