I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Randomize
