he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
