is your mom at the bar?
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
