so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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