everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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