is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
