Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
