Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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