The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
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she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
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I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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