Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Randomize
