Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
