Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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