When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
