She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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