I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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