i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
