My girlfriend figured out who you are.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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