i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
