Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
