One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
