You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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