White coat. Heels.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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