cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
