beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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