After last night, I could never be a politician.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize