Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
