he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
