We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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