so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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