I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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