Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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