He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
