hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Randomize
