i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
