i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Drunk walkin through police station. America
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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