Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Randomize