YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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