I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
