No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.