Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
