I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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