Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator