with your own penis?
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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