Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
