So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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