all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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