i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
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