you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
