Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
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